bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
