Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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