I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
