I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
