i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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