My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
