Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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