No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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