What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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