I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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