They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
