So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
