You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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