1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
