she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
