it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
