Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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