Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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