He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
