we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
