i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
