i think my mom watched the whole time
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
