I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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