My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
