Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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