drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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