Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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