walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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