I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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