i will never coherently bang her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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