Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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