why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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