I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
