I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
