I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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