Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
