4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
