i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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