I think I died a long time ago.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
