I have demons in me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
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A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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