I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish you could order shots online.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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