i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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