She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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