Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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