I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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