Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
