i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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