When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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