Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
