i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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