He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
