it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
