dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
