All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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