Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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