At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
