hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i will never coherently bang her
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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