They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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