I need help removing her.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
