How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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