I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
