Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
