I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
