I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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