We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
