very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
