I need help removing her.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
