Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
