Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
