Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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